Barony of Carolingia, East Kingdom of the SCA

Marian, known to me as Micky or Michael was the 'big' sister of my friend Amelia.  I was 8 years old when we met and spent many fond times with the family.  When I was a young adult Marian, being the wonderful person that she was, gave me a place to stay in her home.  She imparted many positive things to me during that time.  I will always remember her fondly.  I only wish that I had realized that she was living in the Boston area, as I have visited many times in the past several years.  My own son and family live in the Greater Boston area.  May she rest in peace.

I spent a few nice times with my first cousin, Marion Walke, known to me as Michael, or Micky when I was growing up and in early adulthood. The last time I saw or heard from her was about 35 years ago. She was the daughter of my father's brother. I am reading all of these lovely tributes, and wish that she and I had been in touch and that I had been among the privileged friends that knew and were touched by her the past 35 years. I know I would have loved her recipes/cooking, because I love to cook/bake. We would have shared a common interest. Cooking/food must run in the family. I am grateful that I at least knew her for the first 35 years or so of our lives and will remember her always.  My deepest sympathies to her family and many friends. From her first cousin, Ellen

   A somewhat Anglophile pursuit of a sort in which she did not indulge (but I do) is change ringing.  It is the custom among ringers to arrange for special lengthy ringing to honor someone's memory, and we have done so.  I was the only one in the band who knew her, but the others respected her importance to me, and were happy to participate.

Marian was one of those who showed that their was joy and meriment in researching and recreating what you loved.  She was a font of knowledge and she delighted in sharing her knowledge, her wisdom and her recipes.

I have been lucky enough to see the excitement on her face as she taught someone to bake scones over a wood fire, as she inspired a blacksmith to make the one period cooking pan she could not find and as she led a kitchen making delicacies for friends and loved ones.   Or to listen to the sheer joy in her voice as she described the ordinary she was building in the basement, or the tea parties that she was planning.

In all things Marian shared her joy and her excitement.  She will be missed.

Marian was a lady of grace, kindness, intelligence and wit. I will always be grateful for her hospitality and her joy in sharing her home and skills.

Her memory is a blessing to us all.

I met Marian a long time ago when I was in my mid 20's dating a young lady who lived in her home.  I spent a number weekends and collage vacations at her house visiting.  I remember her fresh baked bread and cookies.  She was always generous with both and kind with her words.  I have always remembered her fondly and consider myself lucky to have known her. 

I have this wistful sad feeling on the passing of Marian.

We were not close, she and I. We never visited, or shared tea. I would not be on her list of people to call.

But I recognize that she was one of a handful of people who had a PROFOUND impact in shaping one of my intentional communities, and that she made it a better community. That she had beautiful values to share, and that she shared them. That she was brave in her knowledge and wise in her advice to others - if sparing. Her quiet confidence and good nature rang a loud bell.

She was gently funny in a way that did no harm, she was bountiful in sharing what she could with anyone, she always dealt fairly.

And, when I was callow and raw, and not (I think) her sort of person at all, she was always good to me whenever we met.

If I feel her loss, what can it possibly be like for the many many people to whom she felt so close, and who were her very best? It is unimaginable.

So, have a thought for that rara avis, a wise woman, always a lady, kind to all, generous without reservation. There can never be enough of them, and Marian was amongst them.

Marian was the first SCAdian I met and was ever gracious and giving.  The first archery practices I ever went to she held.  Yesterday I walked the woods of An Tir shooting with skill started in those sessions.  She will be missed and sorely so. 

Bookends

Let’s not be maudlin. Patri saw we might
as his time came; with this she wouldn’t quarrel.
No soothing masks. Face it head on. She’s gone.
Life does that. Like we’re fish in a barrel.

But we fill our lives with worth by mixing them
with the lives of others; when one life runs out,
we owe it to ourselves to recollect,
to gather again, make something we can keep.

One night in Boston, in a brick bay-windowed house
I met with Marian to talk about cooking.
A short guy, dark-framed glasses, Cariadoc
wished to translate German recipes.

They weren’t like me at all. They were adults;
Aged (thirty-something), with careers.
They knew a lot about a lot of stuff.
What were they doing, playing with old cooking?

They were bringing yet another world to life,
One found in books about another age.
They claimed to live there too, from time to time.
What was I doing there? -- And why come back?

Because the lives of the mind and of the past
aren’t far apart at all; because the past
is a human context to which we’re always strange
because it’s ours, and yet it’s ours no longer.

Another night in Boston, in another house
I met Marian again for the last time.
I had come to visit El of Two Knives,
who – ignoring the context of his health –

had lost his leg. -- El was never one
to let the facts intrude on a good story.
Not so Marian, who was peeved
that I should place him first, and told me why.

I didn’t say I’d come for her as well,
suspecting future meetings would be few.

I dreamed last night I searched for books, and found
a set of several volumes, but not the whole.

I knew this was all I’d find, and all I’d have.
I could only put it incomplete
between the bookends o

"I grieve with thee."

I was young, green, and very clueless. She was older, wiser, and infinitely forgiving. She gave wise council when I needed it, kind and insightful correction when I desrved it, and illimitable sympathy when my first child died in utero. Fare Thee well, Marion Bunny's Bane.

Marian. one woman in my early career who actually inspired "peer fear." I got over it. I was never formally her apprentice, but OH! what she taught me, she was my mentor and friend, and help shape me as the peer I eventually got to be.  I have some of her books, I have a bit of her knowledge. She will be with us whenever we cook,  eat, drink, or game. A spirit, an influence, such as her's will never die.

Marian taught me a great deal about feasts--what people will eat, what they won't and why. It helped me be a better autocrat. When I autocratted my first event I really screwed up re the kitchen. She put on her coat, drove to a supermarket to get some supplies I hadn't realized we needed, then took over and helped save  my event. I had screwed up, but she was trying to make sure the event went well. That's how kind and generous she was.

I was directed by her in one of the Carolingian plays and boy was she fun! I always loved her dry wit.

It wasn't until I grew older than I came to admire and appreciate  her energy, organization, and drive. Honestly I don't know how she did it. Did it she did--and became a foundation stone. Carolingia would not have been able to become what it did without her efforts.

I was proud to have been able to give her her Daystar when I was Vicar of Carolingia. She did so much!

I think I speak for a lot of Ancient Carolingians when I say "she was the  mother of us all". She will be  missed.

Thanks, "Mom" for all you did for us.

I remember peeling up roof boards atop an old barn for Marian as she talked to us from below.  She was going to build a medieval home with a round table and a hearth.  It was going to be a place where you could truly be in "the dream."  This was close to a quarter century ago, and I didn't know of anyone else who was doing anything on that scale back then.  We all have dreams, but some people are able to dream very deeply and then attempt to manifest their dreams in the here and now.  Marian was one of those people.  Fare well, friend.

My first memory is of my first "event" (dance practice) at which she was so kind about my unfortunate first attempt at garb. That restraint has always inspired me to be forgiving of the foibles of new members (although perhaps not enough).

The greatest lesson Marian taught me was that when you do something big project and others keep it going when you step away, you've really accomplished something. If it stops when you stop doing everything yourself, it didn't really mean that much except to you. The things Marian started and have grown beyond her initial influence are many and varied. The SCA, the East and Carolingia wouldn't be what it is now without her contributions. Her legacy of contributing then stepping back to let things continue of fail without you is one of the most powerful I can imagine. Because of it, she will always be with us.

I can still hear her telling a story, and then laughing, drawing you in to the circle around the fire. She already had more friends than anyone could count, and she still made me welcome when I was new. She was wise and kind. I was honored that she liked the feast I cooked. The world is a smaller and more ordinary place now that she is no longer in it.

 This is in art, philosophy , and even frank and open discussions when most would choose to leave the room and not think about it. It's hard for most to think about because of what death means. Most don't separate the passing with the absence to follow. It's that absence of a person that causes the grieving and flood of emotions. It's the knowledge of a person who has had such an influence and remarkable effect on so many that can cause the questions and flood or emotions. Marian even up to recent months is such a person. She was an educator of old, even with the Battlefield Bakery her goal was not to make money but to educate people on period food. She branched off into more modern food and as of late was holding proper tea parties. One of her biggest contributions on an annual basis was her yearly New Years Eve Party which I hope her husband continues. Again this was never about her. It was not only about providing a party for others but a safe haven to keep people safe.

I've been choking down tears the past few days. I really love and admire her. The world will be quite the poorer with out her.

One doesn't realize the impact a person might have on their lives until the end times. At least not usually. I can't say that Marian was a close friend but this was due to proximity. I really enjoyed her company and like to think the feeling was mutual. I think the only regret I have was that the movie we were in together along with Anton Winteroak never saw the
light of day. I'm still hoping it might surface someday if funding appears.

I was thinking back about a decade I think at one of the Buttery birthdays. Her grandchildren were there. Jacob had blue hair at the time I think and her grandchildren were amazing and couldn't stop talking about what a cool grandma they had. Ice cream was being churned out front. Mexican chocolate
was going and someone had just arrived with fresh strawberries from the yard for the next batch. Marian and I were sharing stories about fancy restaurants. I don't recall the details except for the story she told me about when she was a little girl. Her parents took her to a fancy restaurant. I can't recall if she liked it or fell under the kids rule of it just not being her thing. What I do recall was the dessert. The waiter wanted to make her happy and told her there would be a special desert for her. Upon his return she received an unassuming white ball in a dish that she described as disappointing and in her eyes at the time burnt. To her surprise and delight when she cut in with her spoon it turned out to be ice cream and fudge hidden in meringue. She has many good stories and this one is still my favorite.

I normally view death as beautiful, changing and in the end a peaceful thing. My grandmother and I shared that feeling and face death with appreciation. This is in art, philosophy , and even frank

Marian,

I'm grateful that I had a chance to know you.You were always gracious, kind, and encouraging. I enjoyed our persona chats and studies together. You will be missed. Rest in peace.

Fare the well, you who blazed paths so that others could walk more comfortably.  I was honored to have known you, all the moreso because when I met you I was not fully formed; your examples of courtesy, kindness, warmth, and a quiet intensity were an inspiration that helped to guide me in my growth.  You opened your home to me, allowed me to sing in it, shared jokes, and the work of your hands.  I hope someday to live up to that which you did so naturally.